travel | side piece

all photos taken with a fujifilm instax + iPhone 5

Sallie and I are masters of taking the absolute longest route anywhere we go, sheerly because, like any good improv actors, we'll always say yes. Wanna drive through a tree? Yes. Want to take this side exit into a totally dark corn field to look at the Milky Way? Yes. Want to stop on the side of the road because you see a woodcarving of Bigfoot? Absolutely yes. 

As spectacular as our scheduled programming is, we do our best work, and have the best adventures/sing-a-longs/trademark one-liners when we're places we never planned to be. There's some strange stuff on the side of the road. Especially in California. So here's a short introduction to taking the long way:

1. Pre-load all playlists, and always make sure they're at least three hours longer than you'll need or else you'll end up listening to Rae Sremmurds "Come Get Her" 13 times. 

2. You're wandering, but your signal might not be, so update your family/stalkers/internet friends every once in a while so they know you're alive. 

3. Before any trip, stop at a grocery store, and buy these things: 
  - a loaf of real hardy bread, preferably sourdough
 - things to dip/smear/pile on this bread
 - large bottles of either tejava unsweetened tea (sallies), or orangina (me)
 - a salami
This will keep your nourished and friendly for your entire trip.

4. Take photos of everything, as many times as possible, just in case one of you is in a huge rush to free up space and deletes the only video proof of you squeezing a large truck through the aforementioned hole in a tree.

5. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. Can't stress this enough - going off the beaten path is great as long as you know how to get back to it. Especially when driving, you don't want to run out of gas in the middle of nowhere with only that mysterious "GPRS" signal that is just a actually just a lie.

When it comes down to it, pack some snacks and just say yes...

.. and then what? 

x J

ps. Sallie dropped her phone in a toilet, and can't read this post, so she has no idea what I've said about her. 

pps. she really is an absolute party

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1 comment:

Tell me what I want to hear. Or what you want to say.

Just remember:

If you're mean, I'll track you down and replace all your shoes with those hideous white tennis things that are so popular among the very sad.