faking fitness

 top + bralet - ADIDAS NEO

Here is a thing people do in the summer instead of actual fun stuff: work on their fitness. Gyms fill up, sneakers are dragged out of hiding, and the muscle tanks are pulled on. Here is a thing people also do: worry about how much more other people appear to be working out.

Don't do that.
 
 Here are some very handy tips on how to fake fitness, as illustrated in the photos above:

1. First, don some cute workout gear. Mine is Adidas NEO. (Also make sure you are wearing the wrong footwear.) Then find a public place with other vaguely fit people milling about doing sports and whatnot.

2. Be slightly glowing already (or if you sweat, that's okay too) and lean up against walls looking like you might have just run a bit of a half marathon.

3. Get your hair in order. Make a big show of nailing the perfect messy bun for your obviously rigorous routine.

4. Boxing is easy to fake. Bounce around a bit, pretend to punch some things. Make sure you have semi-decent form so you don't look ridiculous, but don't look serious enough that someone challenges you to a fight (especially if you're holding your arms as I am demonstrating, as you will get properly thrashed.)

5.  Appear to stretch intensively every ten minutes or so, as the chances are people are rotating, and this is the easiest way to pass time without actually putting up much effort.

6. Do some poses that might be yoga, but could also maybe be more stretching. Tai chi? Who knows.

7. Show off your guns. If you believe, so will everyone else.

Not even joking, people in the park thought I knew what I was doing. I was asked if I was a fitness blogger, which is making me question every fitness blogger I've ever seen doing a handstand on instagram.

Seriously though: it's summer, and, as my friends at Adidas NEO like to say: #NOWISEVERYTHING. (hashtag and all) You only get a few beautiful weeks of the best part of the year. Don't spend your summer worrying if doing 600 more squats will make it better. Go have fun, explore, spend time with your homies.

 Or if you're really attached to the whole work out thing: drag them to a park and at least have them photograph you for instagram. 

x J

pps. I honestly have no clue what I'm doing so please don't injure yourself trying to copy me.



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now is everything

jacket c.o. Adidas NEO
shoes: asos
jeans c.o. Almost Famous 
top : vintage Ralph Lauren

Let's talk about living in the moment. Fantastic concept. How often do we not do it when we could? You know you've had one of those days where you looked at the skirt you actually wanted to wear and thought "Nah, pants are normal. Normal people wear pants". Or you've gone out and heard your favorite song play over the sound system and started singing along, only to catch a totally random glance from a stranger and immediately feel like you've just been chanting to some ~dark force~. And remember that time you just wanted to go to the movies with your friends, but everyone was bricked up for the next six months with practices and work and school and meetings and audiences with the Queen of England? It's no fun, and you usually regret it six days later when you realize "Actually, everyone would have been super impressed with me nailing every verse of "Rap God"."

I know it's just wiiildly unbelievable, but this happens to me every single day. I forget that right now is the time to do stuff, not next Tuesday at 3. I don't wear outfits I like, not because I'm worried about practicality (Mum), but because I think "oh there will be another time to wear it, I'm just going to school." Well, the buck stops here. (I've always wanted to say that.) It's time to seize the day, seize the moment, seize the now. Buy the sunglasses, dance to the song, laugh at the joke that no one else got. Goon the road trip, wear that eyeshadow,  just generally do your thang. Wear the shoes, even if everyone says they look like they escaped from the LEGO movie.

 I wore this outfit to go outside (*gasp*) and inflict my extraordinarily awkward dancing upon the innocent public for Adidas NEO's #NOWISEVERYTHING campaign. It is, of course, extremely graceful and well choreographed and not at all reminiscent of a baby giraffe, but I think I'll spare you all the same. It was also, strangely, extremely freeing. Once you get over the fact that you are dancing, in public, by yourself, to music no on else can hear, you notice that

a. nobody cares

and

b. you're having a lot of fun.


Sort of explains a lot about Taylor Swift, doesn't it?

x J 



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